Answering Your Questions - Episode One
A few weeks ago, I posted on my social media about my aspiration to become an agony aunt some day, possibly. I put out a survey where questions could be asked anonymously.
Despite getting a low number of four answers, I went on to answer those questions as best as I could and so in this post will be those questions alongside the answers I've written myself.
I'd really like to reach out to as many people as possible and help them through giving advice or answering questions as best as I can.
If you'd like to ask a question, please see link at the end of this blog post!
So here goes, my attempt at being an agony aunt episode number uno.
1. Do you have any tips on becoming more confident in yourself?
For me confidence is about who you are, what you stand for and completely owning it. If you're passionate about fashion, wear that style and own it. One of my sisters used to always tell me to 'fake it until you make it' - confidence we're talking about now - and honestly that always helped me and still does in new situations and has provided a huge stepping stone in life for me.
Surround yourself with people who accept you for you and not people who want to mould you in to a certain person. It's okay to let go of a friendship if you feel uncomfortable being yourself with that person or group of people, regardless if they've done anything to intentionally hurt you.
You are capable of whatever you set out to do in life. Failure will arise, mistakes will be made but you'll learn and it'll help get you to where you want to be. Confidence has a knock on effect on happiness, and you deserve to be happy. Learn to love yourself, see your worth and if you don't, look for it until you do and your confidence will slowly begin to increase unknowingly.
2. How many second chances can you give someone you love with the hope they'll never do what they did again?
Trust is key for a relationship and without it a relationship can become quite toxic and ugly. Personally, I believe a mistake is classed as a mistake up until a point. When a person continues to make the same mistake over and over, they're making a choice rather than falling victim, but take this as you wish. What's important here is how you feel deep down, long term, what decision feels right and logical for you? Which decision is your future self going to thank you for?
I'd advise that you sit down with this person and just talk openly and honestly with each other. Talk about what's going on. Talk about how it's making you both feel. Talk about what changes can be made going forward if that's the case. Just remember there's only so much you can do for another person, they have to WANT to change too.
3. Is it hard to know when you're in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship? And what kind of things signify as emotional abuse?
Unfortunately, this isn't a question I can answer confidently and it wouldn't be right for me to as I'm not a trained professional. According to research I've done myself, signs of an emotionally abusive relationship can include :
-Your partner constantly needing to know where you are at all times.
-Your partner saying hurtful things but excusing them as 'jokes'.
-You, feeling the need to apologise when you haven't done anything wrong.
-You, feeling like you're walking on eggshells around them.
These are only a FEW of the signs of an emotionally abusive relationship. Apologies that I can't fully answer your question.
Please stay safe and contact the Runaway Helpline on
-call or text 116 000
-or email 116000@runawayhelpline.org.uk.
https://www.runawayhelpline.org.uk/advice/emotional-abuse/
4. What to do when questioning your sexuality?
I wouldn't be able to give an answer as detailed as I'd like for this one. However please know that it's okay to not be 100% sure about your sexuality and never feel pressure to pin yourself down to a label especially for the sake of others.
Explore what feels right to you right now and if that doesn't work out, you'll have a better idea of what will. That being said, if you don't feel comfortable doing so, what's the rush? Give yourself time to find out who you are. You have time on your side.
I think we all tend to forget that you can be homosexual and fall for a person of the opposite sex and you can be heterosexual and fall for a person of the same sex. Labels don't really have as much significance as we put on them.
I'd ask yourself what exactly has caused you to question your sexuality, because that something has a significance and will hopefully lead to some answers for you or at least lead you in the right direction.
I hope my answers have been helpful or useful, preferably both, to those of you who asked the questions. Thank you for taking the time to ask them!
Ciao for now x
Link to survey where you can ask questions anonymously -
https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/KD297HW